We have had two gorgeous days here in the Phoenix area with temperatures in the low 70apos;s during the day and 50apos;s at night. This is such a relief from the summer triple digits. So Iapos;m enjoying sitting out on my balcony during the morning and afternoon. I�actually had to use a blanket last night
I�suffered some severe loneliness last night as I�thought about the happy times we had as a family. I�didnapos;t thing about the bad. I�looked around my apartment for signs of this 30 years and all I�have is my wedding ring, a picture of my children when they were young, and a secretary desk we had back in Massachusetts that my wife got from her boss. But the loneliness was terrible and I�want it all to return to the happy days. Trouble is, this phase of my life is over and I am starting a new one. I�have to go through a grieving process and the separation is only four weeks old. I�have no idea when we will file divorce papers - maybe after the holidays. I�also worry about how I�will survive on my Social Security Diability income. I�shouldnapos;t worry about the future right now as Iapos;m managing. I�have food to eat, a bed to sleep in, clothes to wear, and many things to keep me entertained, especially the TV and computer. The loneliness is so strangling. I"ve slipped into a moderate depression and have anxiety in the late afternoon, but this will pass soon as it doesnapos;t usually last more than a week or so because me meds handle it pretty well. I�will either shift into a stable mood or hypomanic mood next, this is the way it goes for me. Anyway, I am enjoying today and will make the best of it.
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